Movie Review: Knights of Badassdom
A rare horror/comedy based on Dungeons and Dragons that is actually good — a clear winner in my book.
*Spoilers ahead for Knights of Badassdom
Today I’m so happy to talk a little about Knights of Badassdom, a absolute gem from 2013 featuring so many popular actors that I’m astounded more people haven’t heard of it. Popular to me at least — I watch a ton of fantasy/sci-fi tv and movies and they’ve all made an appearance or two over the years. I may be spoiling my opinion a bit here — but I love this movie. It’s the perfect B+ movie. It’s got a fun plot, actors who absolutely buy into it, and a heavy metal soundtrack! All my favorite things.
Directed by Joe Lynch, Knights of Badassdom tells the story of Joe (Ryan Kwanten, known to me through True Blood), who after a devastating breakup with his long-term girlfriend is kidnapped by his friends and brought to a weekend-long LARP event in an attempt to help him move on. [For those of you who don’t know, LARP is Live-Action Role Play — usually role playing a fantasy-like character with friends in semi-structured evening or weekend events. Full disclosure I’ve never LARPed so I’m not going to claim to be an expert.] After accidentally summoning an actual demon, the friends must use their combined skills to defeat the creature before it kills everyone in attendance. His friends are played by Peter Dinklage and Steve Zahn and both are just absolutely fantastic in their roles.
The movie starts with a voiceover, describing an evil book that summons demons from hell that has been lost to time — this isn’t going to come into play at all, I’m sure. We set the stage with Hung (Peter Dinklage), Eric (Steve Zahn), and another friend who are carrying out a LARP ritual to prepare themselves for their upcoming weekend retreat. Attacked by rednecks with paintball guns in a classic jocks vs. nerds encounter, we the viewers see clearly that the book being used by Eric for the ritual is in fact an actual magical object (love a good foreshadowing) that burns words and symbols onto one of the redneck’s faces and then magically reappears in Eric’s possession.
Heavy metal cuts through and we jump to Joe, a car mechanic who moonlights as a doom metal lead singer who has written a love song for his girlfriend, who he is hoping to propose to. She has different plans, however, and dumps him. Cue the depressed drinking montage, wherein we learn he lives with Eric and Hung in Eric’s customized castle bachelor pad, which he built after winning the lottery. Seeing the need for an intervention, Eric and Hung help Joe get so high he passes out.
He wakes up in surprise armor, always a good sign, and opens the car door to find himself in the fields of Nevermore (the parking lot of the LARP event). Hung and Eric intend on him replacing their friend, who after being shot by paintballs is no longer willing to LARP with them. He’s given a foam dagger (although it is revealed that his friends illicitly deal in real weapons — also totally not going to come into play later.)
The game master Ronnie (played by Jimmi Simpson of Westworld fame) dislikes Joe as he once was humiliated when Joe gave his Dungeons & Dragons character demonic syphilis, insists that Eric cast an advanced spell to allow him to join the game so last minute. Eric reads off a random page from the book he bought, what we the audience know to be a demonic grimoire, and unknowingly summons a succubus. Due to Joe’s heartbreak, and having a picture of her with him, the demon is identical to his now ex-girlfriend.
The LARP begins! We meet Gwen (played by Summer Glau, most known for her role in Firefly) who is chaperoning her cousin Gunther, who never breaks character. A fun quirk, and very helpful later on. They join with our team, along with Lando (Danny Pudi) and Ronnie to begin their journey.
Almost immediately the succubus is killing off LARPers. First she rips out the heart of one of the hired actors (played by Joshua Malina, another good cameo) and eats it, then she seduces one of the fairy LARPers and eats her heart as well. She’s starting to speak, borrowing the words these people are saying right before they die. It’s great, it’s gory, and as she starts to get closer to our main group the tension is definitely rising.
Things come to a head when she runs into Hung, Ronnie, and Lando. Hung, who has been eating shrooms the entire time, is so high that he can clearly see her true demonic nature and he attacks. Unfortunately, very sadly, he is killed. Lando is also killed, quite gruesomely, as he hides in the bathroom.
Ronnie escapes, finding Joe, Eric, Gwen, and Gunther and informing Eric that he cast an authentic spell and that he has summoned the demon that is killing their friends. A real moment of reckoning, I would think. Eric tries to cast a spell that would mortally wound the succubus but instead transforms it into something more monstrous.
The final battle of Nevermore is set off early, with none of the LARPers knowing that they are in genuine danger. It is, as you might expect, a bloodbath. They call for help but the police officers are the paintballers (surprise!) who come in expecting to torment the nerds but instead get murdered themselves. I don’t feel bad for them in the slightest. Joe, Eric, and Gwen manage to pin the demon with the rednecks’ truck and have Ronnie guide them through a banishing spell — the creature, however, lashes out and Ronnie is killed.
Joe saves the book, pulling the jewel from its spine, and in a last ditch effort sings his doom metal love song. We love stories coming full circle. Empowered by the song and the magical artifact, a ghostly figure of Hung appears to fight and defeat the creature. It is, without a doubt, my favorite part of the whole movie.
Six months have passed, and Hung and Ronnie have been honored amongst their friends. Joe and Gwen are in a doom metal band together and have vowed to never LARP again (if everyone I knew was murdered by a demon, I probably wouldn’t want to fight with foam swords again either). Gunther’s believe that he is an actual warrior was only reinforced by his fight with a demon, and he will never break character again. Honestly, can’t blame the guy. Eric is actually learning the language the grimoire was written in, hopefully so this whole catastrophe can’t happen again. It’s a happy ending.
Technical Quality
I do have to admit that the technical execution of this movie is not perfect — hence the B-movie qualities. The creature itself is a little rough and while the special effects and costumes seem to be purposefully on the lower side I do have to be honest about it. I’ll still five it 4/5, because they really leaned into the homemade LARP look and it helped cover what I imagine were some budgetary limitations.
Just the Vibes
I have no criticisms, honestly, and it’s 100% because I’m biased as hell. This movie is campy, it’s nerdy, and it’s decently gruesome. Apparently the director has expressed his distaste for the cut that was released, as he wanted it to be gorier and more based in horror, and I’m here for it. I own this on DVD and I’d happily buy an extended edition as well. I also have the soundtrack saved in my Spotify, the artist is Bear McCreary and it never fails to make car rides more entertaining.
If you want something fun, that you really don’t have to take too seriously, I highly recommend checking this out. If I ever meet these actors I’d first be really excited and second say that this movie is one of my favorite things they’ve ever done.
Things I enjoyed this week:
I have a little closet in my entryway that we took the door off and turned into a ‘grand central station’ — my keys, shoes, and bag live there when I’m not using them and it makes everything so streamlined. And now, it’s finally painted! I drank a glass of prosecco on my porch because it’s finally springtime weather outside (and the perfect weather for ice cream cones rolled in sprinkles) and my basil seeds are sprouting.
Ciao ✌️
Lauren